Good Enough

by Emily Jiang

My fingers are too thick
for the strings
of the violin,
so I balanced the tip
of the tip on each string.

My fingers are too short
to bridge the neck
of the guitar,
so I lifted my elbow
and wrist to shift and press.

My fingers are too small
to span an octave
of the piano,
so I broke the chords
to suit my hands.

And I play anyway
because I want—
no, I need—to say
something
with my fingers, too thick, too short, too small.

My hands are too square
to be beautiful, to lead
a choir,
singers straining
to see my cues.

But when I stand
in front of an audience,
I forget
my hands
are not good enough.

The music fills me
and escapes
from my fingers
now moving
of their own accord.

My fingers speak
for me more than I ever can.
They are just the right size
to dance, to lead—
to give me a voice.

---

Emily Jiang loves speaking with her hands and is happy to teach anyone the ASL signs for "Release the Kraken." Her poem "Good Enough" holds two truths and a lie. Her less autobiographical poetry can be found in previous issues of Stone Telling, Strange Horizons, and Goblin Fruit and in the forthcoming anthology In Other Words. She is the author of Summoning the Phoenix: Poems & Prose about Chinese Musical Instruments, illustrated by April Chu and published by Shen's Books, the newest imprint of Lee & Low. Summoning the Phoenix will be available in Spring 2014. Emily also blogs about multicultural children's literature and other topics at EmilyJiang.com

Audio Recording:
(all songs are from Emily's forthcoming album Songs of Moon & Mischief)

1) Korean Folksongs Mash Up arranged by Emily Jiang. Performers: violin, Hannah Druckman; cello, Mary Tusa; piano, Emily Jiang.
2) I Shall Keep Singing! text by Emily Dickinson, music by Emily Jiang. Choir: Sara Asher, Victoria Chang, Lisa Collart, Charlotte Daly, Hannah Druckman, Sarah Etheredge, Yiting Jin, Cathleen Kalcic, Elise Kent, Renee Ting, Mary Tusa. Conductor: Emily Jiang.
3) Beauty Is text by Emily Dickinson, music by Emily Jiang. Choir: Sara Asher, Victoria Chang, Lisa Collart, Charlotte Daly, Hannah Druckman, Sarah Etheredge, Yiting Jin, Cathleen Kalcic, Elise Kent, Renee Ting, Mary Tusa. Conductor: Emily Jiang.

Photography: adapted from my piano, my hand, my music, by zen Sutherland.